2016/09/16

Execrable: Miami Connection

Miami Connection (1987)
Directed by Woo-sang Park, Y.K. Kim
Written by Woo-sang Park, Y.K. Kim, Joseph Diamand
Produced by Y.K. Kim, William P. Young, Joseph Diamand, Eddy A. Sirhan, Woo-sang Park
Starring Y.K. Kim, Vincent Hirsch, Kathy Collier, Maurice Smith, Joseph Diamand, Angelo Janotti, William Ergle, Si Y Jo, Woo-sang Park
When they aren't attending courses at the University of Central Florida or entertaining thirtysomething fans as a rock outfit whose lyrics commend the virtues of camaraderie and constancy, a quintet of orphaned, calculatedly multiethnic taekwondo practitioners find themselves persistently beleaguered by a gang of thugs assembled by a rival band (resembling the partners of an accounting firm) whose act theirs supplanted, a cocaine ring lead by the psychotic, bewhiskered brother (Ergle) of their frontwoman (Collier) and a clan of biker ninjas governed by a necessarily evil Japanese (Jo) who support the latter party by annihilating rival narcotics dealers. Uniformly hammy performances of preposterous dialogue, atrocious dubbing, overzealous foley, a gaping plot hole collateral to every twist and a plethora of goofy visages form the dense layers of inanity that render every other shot of co-director/star Kim's ambitiously wacky chopsocky a hysterical delight for enthusiasts of B-movies. Prefiguring the landmark schlock of fellow immigrants Wiseau and Nguyen, Park's and Kim's conception of American culture and cinema is as stereotypical as silly, a medium for their anti-ninja bias, and perfectly harmonious with no few preteen fantasies. Nearly ninety minutes of barbaric combat sprinkled with vignettes of contrived drama and risible posturing conclude with a title card heralding an irenicist proposition for the abolition of violence. Huh!
Recommended for a double feature paired with Samurai Cop or the NES version of Ninja Gaidan.

2 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! :D This is great, Snus and omg the screenshots!!!!! :D

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    Replies
    1. :D
      "Listen to me. I doh want to have any trabah. I just get the job from agent. Doh batha us."

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