2017/01/03

Execrable: Sharknado 2: The Second One

Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)
Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante
Written by Thunder Levin
Produced by David Michael Latt, Paul Bales, David L. Garber, Chris Regina, Thomas P. Vitale, David Rimawi
Starring Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Courtney Baxter, Dante Palminteri, Judd Hirsch
Manhattan Island is fordone and a multiplicity of C- to T-list celebrities endangered when more atrocious CG of selachian waterspouts loom large over the big, rotten apple in this ineludible sequel to The Asylum's most popular schlock to date. As before, basic logic, every law of physics and the planet's most powerful military are disregarded entirely as former surfer Ziering spearheads a charge to annihilate tornadoes and the sharks saturated within by the most destructively impossible means known to hyperactive teenagers. This is just as well, as the bygone 90210 star's far better preserved than his coetaneous castmates, nearly all of whom are weirdly misshapen by alcoholism, Botox injections and cosmetic surgery: Wuhrer, Tiffany Shepis, and Downtown Julie Brown all resemble freakishly reanimated prostitutes, whilom Sugar Ray frontman McGrath is clearly the amented lovechild of Morrissey and Everett McGill, and Reid has finally transmuted into a gaunt mannequin in the throes of perpetual inebriation. Most other familiar faces herein fortunately fare worse: blissful wishes come true as Kelly Osbourne and Wil Wheaton are bloodily slain; alas, Richard Kind is spared. Most of Levin's best comedy is manifest as ludicrously contrived and goofily forecast action, and casting of occasionally clever congruity (Robert Hays plays an airline pilot, Judd Hirsch a cab driver); whenever pop culture references occur otherwise or wisecracks are voiced, the constant stupidity throughout turns from diverting to agonizing. As The Asylum further embellish and extravagate their inane formula of Cormanesque creature feature and disaster movie, they perhaps unintentionally emphasize the verity that deliberately bad movies are no less so, and that Generation X is aging horrendously.

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