Mediocre: Lying Eyes

Lying Eyes (1996)
Directed by Marina Sargenti
Written by Paul B. Margolis
Produced by Suzy Beugen, Charles Morales, Chuck McLain
Starring Cassidy Rae, Vincent Irizarry, Allison Smith, Ashlee Levitch, Jamie Rose, Sherry Hursey

Step #1: Scout the cheerleaders performing at a local high school's pep rallies to locate that special someone
Step #2: Meet her by rear-ending her Honda with your Mercedes; seize the moment with the trappings of your wealth and your inimitable urbanity
Step #3: Recompense her for those introductory damages and include a new CD player and some banal albums before you invite her to dinner
Step #4: Regale her at a swanky restaurant, oozing charm as your discuss her aspirations
Step #5: Invite her to your beach house, where you'll gift her lingerie and sate her sex
Step #6: See that she's wholly unaware of your duplicitous lifestyle and/or previous, parallel relationships
Sticky step six slips from the grasp of a handsome lawyer (Irizarry) in his early thirties who successfully courts a beddable high school senior (Rae) by adhering to steps #1-#5, but can't keep her philia when his obsessive attention and an aggrieved party's campaign of harassment negatives her zeal. Performers and photography share a parity of pulchritude in yet another gratifyingly glossy Hearst Entertainment Production for Lifetime, which amounts typically to less sense than satisfaction. Tuned to moisten hausfrauen, Irizarry's silly, soapy suavity is enhanced by dialogue as droll as the menacing messages received by Rae's everygirl, and while the story's stimulated by a nefarious reveal early in the third act, its sequent scheme raises numerous unanswered questions and culminates in a premeditated, attempted murder that's unresolved at a tidily vapid denouement not a minute later. At least half of the target demographic will be too soused on plonk or farctate with HĂ€agen-Dazs to notice these loose ends before bedtime any more than they might distractively drifting close-ups or frequently daffy dubbing, both of which are fodder for the riffing classes.
Recommended for a double feature paired with The Babysitter's Seduction.

1 comment: